Sunday, August 8, 2010

Patience is not my virtue

We are in the process of adopting a little girl from Taiwan. We are so excited and want to get a referral right NOW! Unfortunately, we have at least a two year wait (according to our agency.) We had all of our info. into Taiwan sometime in November 2009. So, we haven't even waited one year yet. Why am I already going crazy with impatience????

We have two little boys. One is four and one is two, and we are obviously very busy. We both work and our boys go to preschool (where I-mom-also works.) We have had a very fun and busy summer. We went to the Bahamas to visit family, to HHI, and are heading to New Jersey for a wedding this week. All of this to say, why am I so unbelievably ready to add on to our family right now? I wish I knew, but every single day I wake up hoping to get a call from our agency that we surprisingly have a referral.

I have always wanted to adopt a little girl from an Asian country. I always knew that one day I would, and I am sooo anxious to fulfill this dream of mine. I also am very ready to not be the only girl in the family! I love my boys, but I am greatly outnumbered. I have a great relationship with my mom and am ready to have a daughter of my own now. I know that God has a plan for our family and is in control of our adoption, but I am so anxious for something to happen that I feel like I need to constantly research adoption and different agencies to see if I can make it happen quicker. I know that as a Christian this is not the most faithful way to be behaving, but I just can't help it. Patience is definitely not my virtue.

I am driving my husband, mom, and anyone else who knows me well crazy with our adoption. I want to talk about it all the time and am always researching adoptions (mainly in Taiwan) on the computer. Everyone is very supportive of me but just keeps telling me to be patient and to at least wait two years before looking into other options. (We were told originally from our agency that it will most likely be a two year wait, if not longer.) But I can't stand not knowing when this will actually happen! How can we plan anything? What if I want to get pregnant again? I also want to adopt from China. Trying to plan for our family and future with so much uncertainty of when our Taiwan adoption will happen and how old our daughter will be is stressful and scary for someone like me. I want to try and control this and make it happen as soon as possible.

The only reason I decided to start this blog was so that others who may be feeling the same way could have someone to talk to or relate to. I know many people who are in the adoption process feel frustrated and impatient too, and I want to assure you that you are definitely not alone!

I think that is enough venting and info for now. Until next time....Taryn

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